Day 16: The Parable of the Parakeet

Solitude is simple, but that doesn’t mean that it is easy.

It is simple in the sense that it doesn’t cost any money. You don’t need equipment. You don’t have to rely on anything from another person. However, it takes intestinal fortitude to intentionally take time to Be.

Many of the students we took to Joshua Tree for the express purpose of experiencing solitude couldn’t handle the challenge. Instead of listening and truly being with the silence, they would go for hikes or take naps or climb around on the big rocks or throw little ones at lizards. Now, none of the things are in and of themselves solitude breakers unless you are using them to distract you from yourself.

That is one of the great values of solitude - there is no one there for you to impress or deceive, except You! There are no rules except to listen to the Silence. It is a simple process, but it requires courage to stop our doing and focus on the internal part of the journey long enough to get to the other side. We are called human beings not human doings and this is a wonderfully rare opportunity for us to get in touch with that part of our lives. Still, many people just can’t handle being alone for any length of time. For those who have the guts to stay the course there are treasures to be had.

After the solitude experience we would come together and discuss what the students had heard and learned from their time in solitude. Often the campfire would last until the morning sun began to brighten the horizon. Those who had really embraced the experience spoke about things that they thought about and decisions they had made. The ones who had found ways to pass the time listened to the depth of the stories told by those who had simply listened and vowed to return and try solitude again.

One girl spoke about the difficulty she had quieting her mind and how she wanted to return to camp before the time was up, but she decided to stick with it. At some point, she noticed that things changed. Time seemed to “slow down” but not exactly. “It is hard to put into words, but somehow I just seemed to be more present, more at peace than I can ever remember being.

“Suddenly time had little meaning. I noticed a small bird that had landed in a bush next to where I was sitting. I watched it for a while, I am not even sure for how long, and then I began to think of a parakeet we had at home. It was getting old and beginning to lose its feathers and wasn’t very attractive. It wasn’t comfortable for me to look at so I put a dish towel over the cage so I wouldn’t have to look at it. And then the question came to me. ‘Am I really that selfish?’

“I was willing to isolate the parakeet because it bothered me. I wondered how many other relationships I treat the same way??? The longer I sat with my thoughts the more clarity I seemed to get. It is hard explain but it was not in a negative, judgmental way, but in more of an a-ha, awareness way. The one relationship that kept coming back to me was my relationship with my dad. I realized I often treat him the same way I treat the bird ... when he makes me feel uncomfortable because of his age or his ideas I shut him out; I put a towel over our relationship and turn away from the things he shares that make me feel uncomfortable. I never realized it before ... but I don’t want to live like that. I want to go back and take down the towels and meet life’s challenges head on.”

I remember sitting at the campfire in rapt attention as she spoke. Everyone was listening and totally caught up in her story. The teacher had become the student. We named her lesson “The Parable of the Parakeet.”

I found it nearly impossible to get 17 year olds to listen in a classroom, but here, around the campfire, they were completely engaged in the honesty and vulnerability of each story. One student quipped, “Maybe this is why Jesus taught in parables?”

“... and a little child shall lead them.”

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